Many months into a job hunt, something sinister has begun to happen to my psyche. Doubts and negative thoughts that I may have managed to quash or avoid until this point begin to rumble around my head with increasing frequency and volume.
"You are a loser."
"You'll never find a job!"
"Give up."
I began to realize this week that this is a very real stage of long term unemployment and one that needs to be addressed directly. The fact of the matter is the constant pressure of job searching, interviews and rejections has begun to take a toll on me. It is in this dangerous time for me and I'm mightily tempted to indulge in self-defeating behavior: overeating, watching too much tv, spending too much money or just lying in bed for hours. I know that these things are merely temporary fixes and will only lead to more pain but I have to fight to stay positive and on-track.
When I feel myself tempted to give into the spiral of negative thoughts, I try to be quick to identify what is my real feelings are.
"Am I lonely?" Probably.
"Do I feel hopeless?" Uh, yeah! Today, I do!
"Has my self-esteem plummeted?" Duh!
Whatever it is ... I put it down on paper. A little bit like Grey's Anatomy I "write it out." I need an outlet. I'm not really even a big journal-er but because this helps...I do it.
Next, I find a supportive friend to go over my writing. I got this from my 12Step program. It really does help to just say this random crap rattling around in my head to someone else. They don't have to respond at all.
This isn't a solution to all the pressures and troubles in my life right now...but acknowledging them allows me to embrace reality and move ahead.
Claire
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